my life as a artist
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mmm...monday
Monday 29th January 2007 9:55 PM
Yesterday met a woman who lives just the other side of Flamingoland.. theres a strange animal attraction between us......Went to town for coffe with groovy chick mum.Went to the Blue Fly. Coffes good and theres a covered place to sit and people spot...... We saw Ivy from the paper shop, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, the Andrews sisters, Malcolm, Frank Ifield, Wane Rewni, Uri Geller and Smokey Robinson and two Miracles all in the space of an hour!........... Angelina and Brad wanted to chat but my Mum said she had to go to get some vegetarian gravy granules from the scoop shop. I asked Angelina if she'd fancy doing the charity shops with me one day and she said no. I said I wouldn't try and touch her bosoms but she still said no. Maybe I should have said I would try and touch her bosoms. Sometimes its hard being a sensitive man............Uri Geller didnt stop but we didnt mind because we hadn't stirred our coffees yet... and Frank Ifield! Do you remember Frank Ifield? He remembers you, your the the one that made his dreams come true. I saw him once at Butlins when I was five but he didn't remember me. Its all self, self, self with these performers.. although you couldnt say that about the Andrews Sisters.Bless their lip-sticked teeth!They asked us if we'd seen Bing. My Mum thought they wanted the bingo and things got a bit confusing. Then Smokey and the two Miracles appeared and calmed things down...they were great.. I asked them if they fancied coming round to my place for a jam and they said no. One of the Miracles told me that sadly they had to go because they were going to a Go Go ... then we had a flapjack.
Posted 9:55 PM | 33 Comments | Permalink
new short story
Friday 26th January 2007 5:22 PM
heres a short story about bananas....
Posted 5:22 PM | 4 Comments | Permalink
Hiya Cynth
Wednesday 24th January 2007 2:42 PM
Approaching blogtime and I'm thinking... Today I bought some on-offer Hyacinths in Marx and Spencers ( a shop in York owned by Lady Dianas Mum and Karl and Harpo and Howard Marx)... its not that exciting but something might bloom from it (see.. it's happening already), and then I look to see if there's any comments from the previous blog and there's a message of appreciation and encouragement from 'cynthia'... it's an example of what Jung calls 'synchronicity'.... I take it as validation from the universe that I'm on the right track.(usually falling over a cliff chasing a puppy dog)......... So I'm waiting in line, with my one ninety-nine, and my hyacinths in my hand and I notice the two women in front of me are both holding on-offer hyacinths ..... I've got two 'cos I'm getting one for my mum and one of the women has got hers in a presentation wicker basket because its a present. ... (and we three are a one when we both get together) Silently we congratulate each other on our good taste, sensitivity and generosity.. the world would be a finer place if all we were allowed to buy was flowers. I would buy hyacinths and lilies for beauty and aroma, and for food and entertainment, cauliflowers and marijuana.... (and if it was marx and spencers marijuana you'd know that it would be really good quality. ).....The young man who takes my three ninety-eight is wearing a death metal t-shirt just visible beneath his white shirt.. the band is named after some kind of skin complaint... Acne or Blister or Seborrhoeic Dermatitis..... I tell him I love him......
Posted 2:42 PM | 4 Comments | Permalink
Going to be and queue
Tuesday 23rd January 2007 12:43 PM
The mighty winds ripped the felt off my shed.... so I'm off to B... where's that bloody ampersand?.. & Q.. to get a fresh roll of felt... MMMM fresh roll of felt.. that sounds a bit sensuous doesnt it? Doesn't it? It doesnt? You mean its me imposing my reality on the world around me? I suspect its because I'm on my second day without cigarettes.. redirected hunger pangs... an urge for nicotene sublimated into wanting to make love to a fresh roll of felt. I'll have to be really disciplined when I get to B&Q... dont want to get into trouble again.
Yesterday I erected (there I go again) a fence to protect the burgeoning broad beans.... the geese have ignored them up to now but they left the curly kale for ages before wolfing (goosing) them down in one fell swoop... this morning they (the beans not the geese) were covered with the first fall of snow of the year. .... reassuring to have some seasonal weather after all the weird stuff.
Have just gone purple because I can.... That's the danger of substituting technological advance for meaning and soul.....mmm, turquoise!
Posted 12:43 PM | 3 Comments | Permalink
big match postponed
Sunday 21st January 2007 5:55 PM
the keenly anticipated clash between York Corinthians and Wigginton Grasshoppers in the York and district over 35s league was postponed early this morning after a pitch inspection revealed many ducks and small sailing vessels on the playing surface. The disappointed crowd, some of who had travelled from as far away as Rufforth, drifted away in lachrymose silence through the wet desolation of a bishopthorpe sunday morning. A police spokesman said there were no incidents.
After last weeks game me and some of the lads got very pissed and accidently smashed up a disused chinese weather satellite. Woke up to find the chinese had claimed the credit and that the Americans are now shit scared ... feel a bit guilty about increasing international tension but it was a great laugh.
my life as a artist continues to be colourful... sometimes in the pink sometimes blue... browned off, marooned etc... much inspiration from life in the farmyard.... after the disappointment of the postponed match I was delighted to get back to the caravan just in time to witness the wedding of two geese in the field just outside. It was the first gay goose wedding ever to be held in York and probably the first gay goose wedding ever officiated at by Dr John Santamu, the archbishop of york. Sponging off his cassock afterwards in the caravan I spoke to him in the simple swahili I had learnt from my time in East Africa. I told him that I had found a hippo in the bath this morning and it had used all the soap. I stressed that I forgave the hippo straight away and actually lent it my head and shoulders. Impressed with my piety and grasp of the language he said that he could fix it for me to be the first white archbishop of Kampala.
Posted 5:55 PM | 2 Comments | Permalink
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