my life as a artist
my bloggy-loggy
Sunday 2nd November 2008 12:50 AM
This week's revelation that Jonathon Ross, Russell Brand and the head of Radio 2 were involved in the recent spate of bombings in Somaliland and the Congo has shocked both me and my Mum. Not only did it shock my Mum, it sickened her as well. 'I'm shocked and sickened' she said later. It was only then that I realised that, although I'd been shocked, I actually felt quite well in myself.
My Mum reckoned that some of the million pounds saved by the BBC, by suspending the spectacularly untalented Jonathon Ross for six weeks, should be spent on me, and to be beautifully, unbrutally frank with you, I had to concur heartily.
I think of all those lovingly-spun, high-quality yarns that I sold to Radio 4 a few years ago, for less than cost-price, and I wonder if they really appreciated them. At the time, the newspapers said they looked great in them, but I never got any more orders. Mushtaq, my favourite laundryman, who could teach Jonathon Ross a thing or two about folding, reckons my material was delicate yet strong, colourful but tasteful, organic, more than fair-trade, and because it was woven on a loom of conscious suffering, using the warp of the West Riding and the weft of eternity, had a really nice pattern on it. Both of us are shocked and disappointed that the BBC seems to prefer wearing a flimsy, over-priced cheap-looking polyester/bri-nylon mix, that's nasty to the touch, affords little warmth and offers no protection against the icy,howling winds of Ahriman.
Meanwhile, the financial crisis cries and cries, and is and is, and we find out that the market's not only depressed, it's actually bi-polar and taking heavily anti-psychotic drugs. Barclays bank, rather than borrowing from the government, have gone top-hat-in-hand to the new owners of Manchester City, the Abu Dhabi royal family, and reportedly borrowed eight billion pounds and Sean Wright-Phillips. It's made me look at my own share portfolio, and in the present climate, I've decided to play it safe, and put it all into shares in The Big Issue.
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