my life as a artist
dogs willy sausage message
Monday 8th December 2008 8:23 PM
Last weeks blog was gratuitously football orientated, and I'm sorry for the obvious distress that I know this will have caused some people, but I make no apologies, and I'm sorry, but it's just that amidst the rampant injustices and routine atrocities of the every-day global meltdown, sometimes I find the struggle a struggle. Football can be a refuge, and because it offers a microcosmic world of idealised conflict, also a teaching.
The referee, as God, is omnipotent, and his ineffable whistle is Gabriel's horn, blowing its message of judgement and dread to the people, and sometimes those pronouncements can be inscrutable and mysterious. This morning, after I'd fouled him and surprisingly won a free-kick, the combative Sherburn Carnivores mid-fielder, Billy, in the pain and despair of his own isolation, couldn't help but lift his voice to the heavens and cry out, 'That's billy bollocks ref!'
Later, while I was marking Billy at a corner, I agreed with him that the decision had indeed been 'billy bollocks', but suggested to him that rather than railing against the implacable will of God, he'd be better off directing his dissent at the corrupt governments and corporations that are the real enemy. I told him about Henry David Thoreau, the ex-Blackburn Rovers full-back and natural philosopher, who in the nineteen-sixties, after writing a seminal essay on the duties of civil disobedience, added a new dimension to his game and won a couple of caps under Ron Greenwood.
At the next throw-in, Billy and I reminisced about the extraordinary energy of the sixties, the optimism and the fearless exploration of inner and outer universes. We remembered John Lennon's last-minute hat-trick and Ringo's toothless jig in 1966, when the Beatles won the World Cup at the Shay Stadium, in Halifax. We remembered the immortal words spoken by Thor Heyerdahl, after his successful completion of a journey to the moon on a balsawood raft in 1969. 'It's one small step for a space-rocket' he said, 'but it's a fuck of a long way on a balsawood raft.'
Despite the last blog being essentially about football, all the comments seemed to be centred on the post-match dog's-willy sausages. Tij wonders, possibly with a certain amount of projection, if the message of the blog was 'consumption of the odd sausage occasionally is OK for the soul'. Well Tij, while I can't honestly say that that was the intended overarching theme of the piece, I'm nevertheless really glad you found a message of some sort in there. Personally, I think of a sausage as undifferentiated dead animal in an edible condom, and haven't eaten one for over thirty years. However, I used to think of cheese as the congealed mammary fluids of a cow I'd never met, but that didn't stop me from whacking a wedge of wensleydale onto my Dr Karg's organic wholegrain spelt muesli crisp-bread last night. (On frosty mornings, not only do I find this extremely robust brand of crisp-bread delicious, but also an ideal tool for scraping ice off the car windscreen). Drinking poison is a famous yogic party-piece, so I suspect at the end of the day, which at the moment is about half-past three, that the only corrupt stuff must be what comes out of your mouth, not what goes into it.
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