my life as a artist
and we all shine on
Monday 23rd February 2009 9:54 PM
Listen! The universe is singing! The black holes on bass are the huge, beer-swilling Welsh rugby boys of the cosmos, thundering out their heavenly dub version of 'Sosban Fach', at a staggering 57 octaves below middle C. Soprano parts are taken by exploding supernovas, delivering their banshee lullabies into that mysterious region of space where Kate Bush and helium merge into chipmunks and white light. If creation is a Big Bang and Olufsen speaker, and why not, then black holes are the super-woofers, exploding supernovas are the super-tweeters and we, the super people and the super planet, inhabit and are responsible for the mid-range. If we want some harmony round here, we need to pitch it right.
Last night I went outside to listen to the night sky, to see if I could tune my guitar to it. Although stars appear as tiny dots of light, many of them are, in fact, as big as Birmingham, and they appear so small because they're literally hundreds of miles away. However, the song of the stars was drowned out by the ring-road, which although a good deal smaller and quieter than Vega or Sirius, is less than a mile away, and so sounds louder.
This morning, Mrs Abercrombie came round with Poppy the dog, to collect the rent and dirty the furniture, and happened to mention that the universe is based on harmonic series such as 72, 144, 432 and that 144 (a "C" tone in hertz) is a perfect harmonic of the speed of light, which is 144,000 nautical miles (144,000 minutes of arc per Earth grid second) in the vacuum of space. I said that was a coincidence because I'd just bought a second-hand Dyson at the car-boot sale that very morning.
By way of seeking atonement, Poppy kindly offered to hoover round the caravan, and Mrs Abercrombie had to raise her voice against the terrible whine of its hideous suction as she told me more about the mysteries of pitch and harmony. She said that at the moment the industry standard pitch for the key of A is 440 hertz, although this hasn't always been the case. Mozart and Verdi used A-432 hertz, as apparently did the ancient Greeks and Egyptians. The early European cathedrals were built as spiritual instruments, made of revelation and stone, and designed to have Gregorian chants sung in them at 432hertz.
In the subsequent quiet order of the caravan, I went agoogling to find out more, and was met with a contrasting jumble of information. The Schiller Institute says that in 1939, there was a campaign to change it to 440hertz, led by Joseph Goebbels, and being such a juicy morsel this was hungrily and widely repeated, but I could only find one source. Somebody said that Hendrix often tuned a bit south of A-440 hertz so he could get sexier feedback from the speakers, while someone else said that they'd just been to Totnes and had their condensed heart chakra restrung and tuned to A-432 hertz.
Later tonight, when the traffic on the ring-road has calmed down, I'm going to go outside with my A-432 hertz tuned guitar and see if I can get the universe to sing along to some Hank Williams songs, although I'm a bit worried that with all that alcohol in them, the black holes might get a bit maudlin.
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Posted by Les Miserable , on Monday 2nd March 2009, 12:37 AM
'...But these amps go to eleven!'
Posted by Steve , on Sunday 1st March 2009, 6:00 PM
The A432 comes out of Bristol and runs through a town called Old Sodbury. I won't comment any further.
Posted by John (aka Jonault aka Jono) , on Wednesday 25th February 2009, 8:30 PM
I now understand the significance of hertz in the harmonic order of the cosmos and marmite crumpets. This does not however make their cars any cheaper to rent.
Posted by Job Seekers Allowance , on Wednesday 25th February 2009, 1:00 PM
On Sunday I stumbled on a village with chalk water falling from a downland spring into a fast flowing stream. That too sang, the clear tinkling voice of nature. I understand the song but not the arithmetic.
Posted by june and her spring , on Tuesday 24th February 2009, 7:00 PM
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