my life as a artist
cutting edge
Sunday 27th September 2009 8:35 PM
As part of my application for York Open Studio 2010 I've had to include a photo of myself at work, so I got Mark the farmer to take this. I don't usually paint with a saw and a plastic shark, but I thought it might make me seem thrillingly innovative. It was quite a tricky shot to pull off. The Belgian Blue in the field was a bit spooked by my outfit, and the shark and the saw found each other so threatening that at one point I thought they might Clash (shark fought the saw and the saw won). However, Marks generational cow-soothing skills took care of the Belgian Blue, while I had to use a mixture of diplomacy and my bare hands to keep the shark and the saw apart.
I wore the brown hat because I like to think of it as a sort of psychic Sky-dish that catches waves of cosmic inspiration on its softly felted brim, and I'm hoping that the selection committee will see it the same way, and select me.
Meanwhile, back on the planet, I heard a lunchtime news item on the radio last week, that said there was a serious drought in East Africa. The evening programme was identical, except that the report of the drought had been replaced by the news that Chas and Dave had split up. From that, the listener could have assumed that the drought was over, and therefore no longer newsworthy, or they could have assumed that the BBC thought that the Chas and Dave story was more important. The drought still rages on, so it must have been the latter.
A quick inspection of Chas and Dave's discography, which includes 'Wallop and thump!', 'Cor blimey guv, watch what yer doin' with those jellied eels!' and 'Phwoar!', soon reveals that the BBC have made an error of judgement of such epic proportions, that it's almost beyond satire. All this in the same week that Gordon Brown is ceremonially dubbed 'World Statesman of the Year' by Henry Kissinger. In the audience was the new Israeli defence minister, Ehud Barak, and the rock star, Bono. In the spirit of things, it would have been nice to see Bono present the Israeli defence minister with an award for humility.
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