my life as a artist
Royal Henfield 250
Sunday 1st April 2007 9:43 PM
This afternoon the weather was sufficiently clement to sit in the caravan with the door open. An emboldened Old English bantam hen wandered in and started eating the toast crumbs that had spilt on the floor from the kitchen unit. If I'd put a stick on it, it would have been a Flintstone's hoover.
I told the hen, (who I think had been drinking), that when I was seventeen, I used to have a motorbike called a bantam.
' It was a BSA 175 and smelt like a chip-pan fire.' I said. The bantam carried on eating the toast crumbs, but by the staccato rhythms of its golden neck it seemed to say to me, 'Was it a two-stroke?'
'Yes' I replied. 'It sounded like a Kenwood chef mixer. Later on I had a Triumph Tiger Cub, which was more like it…it was a 200cc four-stroke…. that sounded great!'
The bantam, by following the trail of toast crumbs, was now within four feet of me. A small, marigold- red washing-up glove waved in rubbery splendour on its head. The sharp leather bones of its feet seemed to scratch out rough words on the floorboard. It was as though it was asking me if I'd ever had a Royal Enfield Crusader.
'Yes' I said 'It was the 250, not the 350… it leaked so much I referred to it as the Royal Oilfield.'
The bantam finished the last few crumbs, and after a last, brief desultory search for a new trail, walked out of the caravan door into the bright cold of the spring afternoon.
Later my friend Mick came round on his Honda Fireblade with half a dozen fresh eggs for me. I gave him some millet and some hemp. Before it got dark I put some chicken-wire round him in case the foxes got him.
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