my life as a artist
the loss of a town, the gain of a nation
Wednesday 11th April 2007 11:52 PM
With all the kerfuffle surrounding the vacant managership of Huddersfield Town football club, me and Mum have withdrawn our application for the post. Although our support and affection for 'The Town' remains undimmed, to be honest, we felt a bit messed about with.
On Radio Golcar's 'Darren Donkersley show', the Chairman of the club, Ken Davy, said,
'Michael Parkinson's going to do it… no.. he's not… how about that Ginger nutmeg on mi 'ead son? OK! Yes! Er.. No!.. Lionel Ritchie… yeah!.. doing it…with soul.. definitely…..maybe…'
Instead we're preparing our application for the England job. Mum's come up with a revolutionary 1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-2-1 formation, and two new flavours of biscuit, 'spinach'n'pineapple,' and 'beige'.
Thinking about the qualities of Brian Clough, Bill Shankley, Alex Ferguson, Jose Mourhinio and the emerging Roy Keane, I've decided to try and brush up on my self-esteem a bit. I've signed up with the local adult education college and I'm doing an evening course on Strutting and Intimidation.
As far as dealing with the media goes, we've decided to leave that to my Dad. As he's been dead for twelve years we'll have to mediate through Glen Hoddle. I know my Dad would have preferred his audio-incarnation to have been through someone more plain-speaking, like Jack Charlton, but those sort are rarely psychically gifted.
Last night I watched Manchester United beat Roma 7-1. That's what me and Mum have got in mind for England. I was wondering how Jack, Derek and Wobbly Bob, my fellow Corinthians, would deal with a midfield of Rooney, Giggs and Renaldo, without using fire-arms.
Comments
Does Jose Mourhinio have to wear his lucky overcoat at every match? Even if it's as warm as it's been recently?
Posted by (curious) Steve , on Monday 16th April 2007, 9:22 PM
Man U v. Roma was the best display of football I think I've ever seen. It was like watching England, but with skill, speed, cohesivity and football.
Posted by Les Miserable , on Monday 16th April 2007, 9:03 PM
I like the formation. I think its known as "The vertical stick with a bit extra near the top".
As for dealing with that midfield, as you are going on to the pitch just ask them to spell "professional" and that should keep them occupie
Posted by Peter "no club" Jackson , on Friday 13th April 2007, 11:03 AM
this is a bit technical for those of us who think football is only a game. can we have some food for thought on spring or the challenges of being a thoughtful person in contemporary britain?
Posted by out to lunch , on Thursday 12th April 2007, 8:53 AM
Add Comment
