my life as a artist
red sauce
Friday 27th April 2007 1:34 PM
Last night did the microgeneration gig in Harrogate. It wasn't The Adelphi, as I'd thought, but The Majestic, which from the outside wasn't majestic at all, only very big. It would have been more truthful to call it The Very Big.
The toilet ( or 'the shitter' as Kate Middleton's mum refers to it), was so posh that it brought to mind the words of Peter O'Toole. 'It makes your knob look shabby'
It was an awards dinner and most of the blokes were suited, except for one magnificently organic individual, sporting a rainbow jumper and a free-range beard. The women were mainly wearing their everyday clothes, but with bits of negligee sewn on. Every course of the three-course meal was dribbled over with a bright red sauce (raspberry 2 tomato 1 (half-time 1-0))
I did a bit of patter and a poem about bicycles and snag my snog about climate change… I think I was slightly less compelling than the pudding, which was a raspberry cheesecake, so no shame there, then. Got home in time to release the bread from the bread-machine before it got soggy on it's own sweat. (my grandfather was a baker and swore on the prophylactic benefits of drinking a pint of bread-sweat every day) (he died when he was 24 of acute bread-sweat poisoning)
Despite my culpability by association with death and destruction in Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia and other places, I managed to really enjoy Manchester United versus AC Milan on the telly on Wednesday night. It wasn't just the sublime first-time passing and individual creativity of Kaka, Ronaldo, Rooney et al, it was also the added appreciation of forty years of footballing soap opera that is Manchester United…. Rooney, Giggs and Ronaldo,…Best, Law and Charlton… Derek, Wobbly Bob and Me…..
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