my life as a artist
may day may day
Monday 30th April 2007 11:30 PM
Tonight is Beltane Eve. I went to Tesco's this morning and got some strap-on deer antlers from the pagan ritual section. Went to the in-store café, the Sticky Web, and for 99p had a breakfast of egg, chips, tomato, potato omelette, fried bread, beans, hash brownies, mushrooms, veggie sausage, toast and coffee ('it's almost a meal in itself.' As Hovis Presley would say)
I haven't arranged anything but I'm hoping a few beautiful, wild women will come round to the caravan and light a fire, and we'll all dance round it and then I'll put my Tesco antlers on and we'll go to the woods and engage in vigorous and unrestrained sexual shenanigans. If they don't show up, I'll probably watch championship snooker with Ray Stubbs. (he presents it, I'm not going round to his house or anything)
Even with the possible added attraction of watching the snooker at Ray Stubbs's house, I think most people would prefer robust, outdoor, sexual congress. Caught up, as we are, in the primal surge of vernal desire, snooker offers little in the way of erotic release. During the cueing action there's sometimes a certain amount of thumb-forefinger frottage going on with the symbolically obvious cue, and sometimes there's a bit of kissing between the balls, but you wouldn't call it unfettered sensuality.
It's nearly midnight and they're still not here. They must have got caught up in traffic. Luckily, I've saved the receipt for the antlers. If I take them back to Tesco's and tell them that they become unstable when I'm rutting, I'll probably get my money back.
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