my life as a artist
liverpool one milan too
Thursday 24th May 2007 12:52 AM
I've just been to my mum's to watch Liverpool lose 2-1 to A.C. Milan in the European Cup Final. The game didn't actually take place at my mum's. She did apply to FIFA to stage the game, but the European ruling body turned her down on the grounds that there weren't enough toilets, even with a lend of my porta-potties (I've got a guest one), so we watched it on the telly instead.
Pennant was germane to Liverpool's sweet station and at 8:25 was unlucky to miss a connection to Gerrard's cross. Just before half-time, Milan stole the lead (off the church roof, and sold it to Silvio Berlusconi, who melted it down into a giant pair of protective underpants) through a fluky ricocheted free-kick off Philippo 'face like a slapped arse' Inzaghi, just before half time.
In the event of FIFA changing their mind about the venue at the last minute, my mum had made loads of sandwiches for the interval, so we had a sandwich-eating competition, which I won. The thrill of victory, and my mum's grace in defeat, was balm to the wound inflicted by Philippo ' whining, petulant, sulky ten year old, who maybe off the pitch is a really nice guy, and it's just a chemical thing, bless him' Inzaghi.
Liverpool pressed for an equaliser in a tense, but open second half. The quality of the opposition was undeniable and it would be childish to pooh-pooh Kaka. When Benitez brought on Harry Kewell after an hour, the tension was really getting to us. My mum said we needed some passive marijuana smoking, so I went downstairs and got one of the students to do a few bongs on the sofa between me and my mum, in exchange for some sandwiches.
The effects of the second-hand bongsmoke were so successful at relieving tension, that when Philippo 'he can't help it' Inzaghi scored the second goal, we were happy for both him and his family. Liverpool got one back just before the end but Milan held on for the last few relaxing minutes. We watched Paolo Maldini accept the cup, then we finished off the sandwiches in a non-competitive way.
I think Fifa missed a trick not staging the final at my mum's. The sandwiches were really tasty and the atmosphere was fantastic.
Comments
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Posted by polysialic acid , on Saturday 8th December 2007, 7:14 PM
Have you ever thought of being a sports reporter? One of the best match reports I've ever read, especially the poo poo Kaka bit.
Posted by Les Miserable , on Sunday 27th May 2007, 4:42 PM
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