my life as a artist
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there is no limit
Monday 26th November 2007 10:53 PM
I'd heard there was a terrible refugee problem in Somalia, from a friend who's working out there, so I thought I'd see if there was anything about it on the telly, but it seems they're not interested. There was the odd bit about Iraq and Darfur, and obviously 'Dog Borstal', 'Can Fat Teens Hunt?' and 'Jimmy Carr is an Eleven Stone Tumour Feeding on the Diseased Body of TV Entertainment', but nothing about Somalia.
I went to the newsagents to see what the papers were saying, but except for the odd bits about Iraq and Darfur, it was all just cleverness and tits. Greg-behind-the-counter looked bewitching, in his one-size-too-small pair of red lederhosen, and now wearing his hair in a sleek power-bob, and had such an air of new-found confidence that I found myself asking him if he had any news on the Somalian refugee situation. He said he didn't but was keen to know if I'd had sex last night.I said I couldn't remember and went home to see if I could get some news off the internet.
I found a site called Hiiraan Online, which ran a story, under the headline 'There is no limit to the suffering', about Halimo Omar, a forty year old Somalian woman, looking after her blind husband and four increasingly hungry children, in a hut made of twigs and torn plastic. Embedded into the article, in an attractive, highlighted blue font, were three google adverts. One was for a diet book called 'Fat Loss 4 Idiots', one was for a dating agency for military singles, and the other was for a Patriotic Logo Item Store, offering custom flag pins and patriotic promotions. A bit like Henry Kissinger winning the Nobel peace prize, this sort of thing doesn't make satire any easier.
In a world torn apart by greed and war-mongering, where surplus sits side by side with starvation, and the media is full of people who aren't me, it's difficult not to get angry. Apart from lighting a candle in silent vigil, I find one of the best ways of dealing with this anger is expletive infixation, a useful form of tmesis, that's really helped me with my stress levels.
Expletive Infixation is a natural form of concentrated swearing that can release up to seventy per cent more bile than other grammatical constructions. Tom-from-the-comment box told me about it, and last week I went to an E. I. meeting with him, at the Quaker meeting house in Friargate. The next day, when I was in the newsagents, I asked Greg if he fancied coming along. He put down his nut-denuded walnut whip and looked at me, his perfect bob quivering coquettishly, every gleaming, lacquered hair moving in liquid unison, to form a fabulous tidal-wave of softness, that made his forehead look like a boulder-strewn granite beach. 'What's expletive in-fucking-fixation when it's at home?' he said.
Comments
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Posted by polysialic acid , on Saturday 8th December 2007, 7:10 PM
thank you, Rory, for penetrating the media blackout. good article by Sally Healey in the Guardian this week. & photos on Human Rights Watch website picture gallery (my validation word is "urgent")
Posted by overseas reader , on Saturday 1st December 2007, 4:48 PM
Try again...
http://wireandtwine.com/store/products/subtraction-hel.html
... my validation word is "rebel" ... grr!
Posted by tom , on Wednesday 28th November 2007, 9:55 PM
It coming to something when even fonts are expletively fixated...
<a href="http://wireandtwine.com/store/products/subtraction-hel.html"> see what I mean?</a> ... every-fucking-where...
Posted by Tom , on Wednesday 28th November 2007, 9:46 PM
'Jimmy Carr is an eleven stone tumour...' Magnificent!!!
Posted by Les Miserable , on Tuesday 27th November 2007, 4:32 PM
In a world where the media worries more about Strictly Come Dance-f*cking-ing I'm not surprised. With swearing - I prefer mums old method of making sure we knew what she had done, i.e. "Damn and Blast - and thats swearing" Those were the da
Posted by Iamnotanumber Butiwasnumbertwo , on Tuesday 27th November 2007, 11:55 AM
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