my life as a artist
how green is my gathering
Friday 15th August 2008 4:54 PM
On Saturday I'm casually scheduled to do a gig in Sunny Jim's solar-powered cabaret, at the Northern Green Gathering, somewhere near Ripon, and in anticipation of some awkward questions from the green police, I've been sorting out my defence.
In the last few years I'm aware that by taking a couple of flights to Malawi and Kenya I've deepened my carbon footprint considerably, although it was only after much consideration that I decided to go by airplane. My initial thought was to go by space-hopper. On some of the early models the ears are closer together, and it makes for a really comfortable riding position, but ultimately they're too slow, and to be honest, a bit too bouncy for my liking.
In the every-day-to-day reality of my ecological kitchen-sink drama, I always try to use Ecover cleaning products, ever since I had a conversion on the road to Domestos. I found out that not only does Domestos kill germs, but it maims, tortures and humiliates them first, whereas Ecover just asks them nicely if they wouldn't mind leaving. Even though this all takes place on a microbiological level, you can't underestimate the value of small acts of kindness.
FIVE DAYS LATER
I needn't have worried. No defence needed. From Yarm, York, Worksop, Widnes, Morecombe and Dewsbury we came, regular, cherry-topped tofu cheesecakes, creamed from the soya milk of northern suffering. It's 4:30 am in Banjo Bill's Jam Tent, and there's a robust young woman in a fur bikini, with theme-park hair and para boots, belting out an indecipherable, but in-tune song to the accompaniment of a pulsing mass of fiddles, accordions, saxophones, guitars, drums, trombone and a curly-haired Chas on miniature Chinese pump organ. There's a non-profit old testament prophet, who by the sturdiness of his stick could be from Dewsbury, dancing with a keen, polyester novice from Pontefract, and by the look of things I think the no-smoking rules must have been relaxed. Give me that old time religion, it's good enough for me.
After such an invigorating and wholesome week-end of simple pleasures, I find it hard to imagine why anyone would go to the bother of invading another country, when you could just as easily go there on a cycling holiday. If you feel you must possess another nation, I suggest doing it by e-mail. On Monday, for instance, I got a bit grumpy after reading about Huddersfield Town's disappointing 1-1 draw at home to Stockport, so in the afternoon I decided to annexe France. To be fair, it could have been anyone, I just wanted to lash out. I e-mailed the French government and told them that I'd annexed them, but was granting them complete autonomy, and they were to carry on as though nothing had happened. I haven't had any MIG jets strafing the caravan this week, so I presume I must have got away with it.
Comments
I enjoyed reading your blog. Keep it that way.
Posted by Kachniquina , on Saturday 4th September 2010, 4:04 PM
Very Interesting!
Thank You<a href=http://ukegfvkwuergfku.com>!</a>
Posted by Arbicktrier , on Saturday 4th September 2010, 3:44 AM
bilkgrwcsyxyytgmjfklgpsysmwddgkeunf
Posted by payday loans bc , on Thursday 2nd September 2010, 1:38 AM
Your weblog is excellent. Thank you greatly for presenting a whole lot of worthy additional info. I'll be bookmarking bookmark your weblog and will be most certainly coming back. Yet again, I recognise the value of your work and moreover supplying a great deal valuable answers for the many people.
Posted by online payday loans , on Wednesday 25th August 2010, 2:00 AM
www.rorymotion.com is great! Bad credit payday loans provide solution for every one This facility is small but quick in approval
Posted by toronto payday loans , on Sunday 11th July 2010, 8:59 PM
Your website is very great. I liked your website a lot. Thank you.
Posted by payday loan , on Friday 2nd July 2010, 3:34 AM
James Lovelock says worrying about flying is too little too late and just re-arranging deckchairs on the titanic (and the validation word is little) But i totally agree on less military invasion and more cycling holidays
Posted by hippy in the horn , on Tuesday 26th August 2008, 5:30 PM
I don't really understand all this 'carbon footprint' stuff. Is it something to do with those 'odour eaters' you put inside your trainers?
Posted by Steve , on Saturday 16th August 2008, 12:58 PM
To assuage the guilt you bear over your international jet set lifestyle I have opted to eat a cold, uncooked tea this evening. I have also had Ribena instead of coffee thus saving the production of a litle bit of carbon.
It was the least I could do.
Posted by John (aka Jonault aka Jono) , on Friday 15th August 2008, 9:21 PM
Add Comment
