my life as a artist
paper ghosts
Tuesday 7th October 2008 7:30 PM
I see that a three-hundred-year old pyramid-selling scheme, commonly known as the banking system, is finally collapsing under the weight of its own delusional greed. My schadenfreude is tempered by the fact that I am fully implicated, having taken out an £8,000 loan with the co-operative bank in 2004, either to buy a boat, or two kilos of hand-rubbed Manali charas, I can't remember which. Because there's always a pay-back with this sort of thing, I've been paying it back, at £125 a month, and after four years I think I owe them about £9,000. Their advertising claim of 'ethical banking' is obviously an oxymoron, whereas I'm just a moron.
Although my gut instinct tells me that it's all a massive scam, the actual mechanics of it all are fiendishly complicated. Henry Ford once said 'It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning."
Much earlier, the Rothschild Brothers of London noted, "The few who understand the system, will either be so interested from its profits or so dependant on its favours, that there will be no opposition from that class."
Paper money will soon be the ghost of money, and once more, gold and other precious metals will re-assert themselves as the true measure of wealth. As the top scorer for York Corinthians last season, I'm the holder of the 'golden boot' award, a solid platinum football boot with gold studs, mounted on an obsidian plinth. I'm so desperate to retain it, that yesterday I played two games, one for the morning team and one for the afternoon team, in an attempt to get on the score-sheet. However, my ability to hit cow's arses with banjoes seems to have deserted me for the moment, and I fear that at the end of May my hope of future security will go the way of my strike-partner, the fabulous Bustling Brian.
My Mum says that I ought to melt the boot down and make a copy of it in cheap plastic, and although this is not the way of the immaculate warrior, it is an option. I don't think anyone would notice, and at the end of the day the 'golden boot' is all about honour and glory, not financial security. It's either that or getting a bigger banjo.
Comments
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Posted by payday loans edmonton , on Thursday 1st July 2010, 9:08 PM
If I had a banjo I think I would use it to beat a cow's arse (as long as the cow didn't mind too much)rather than try playing the thing!
Posted by John (aka jonault aka Jono) on holiday in York , on Friday 10th October 2008, 3:55 PM
I once took out a bank loan too. So are you saying you're supposed to pay them it back, then?
Cripes! I hope not...
Posted by Steve , on Wednesday 8th October 2008, 10:52 AM
Look on the bright side Rory. Its not everyday you get to use the words schadenfreude and oxymoran. A bleak but brilliantly literate commentary on consumerism.
Posted by tjj , on Tuesday 7th October 2008, 11:34 PM
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